You might have noticed a bit of a break in the writing. This is kind of the first moment I’ve had to sit down and actually write something. My better half has been on a work trip for the past 2 weeks. He’ll be back in another week for a grand total of 3 weeks away. Of course all the crap hits the fan the moment he leaves. Isn’t that Murphy’s law or something?
It was the last week of school, so I’ve been shuttling kids to and from school. I’ve had my own things going on and really long days at work that usually don’t happen. Then to top it off so far, my son got some stomach flu with high fever. Try and picture it, 9 year old boy whining at the top of his lungs because he feels so bad, then having stuff coming out of both ends simultaneously. The rug still needs washing. The poor thing got a major dose of sick all over it. Then a couple of days later, the daughter gets sick and now me. These last two weeks have not been the high point of my existence BUT I’m surviving! I’ve not had any panic attacks (shocking actually) and I’ve not beheaded anyone (also another shocker).
On a positive note I had my Reiki attunement last Tuesday. That was one of “my own things”. It was a really moving experience really. I didn’t expect to feel anything. As I sat in the chair with my eyes closed, I had waves of hot and cold move up my back, then heat up my neck. I saw colours and images in my minds eye. Towards the end, I started to shake and then cry. The tears just sort of came out of nowhere. After the attunement, I was really out of it. I didn’t feel like talking. I was tired and kind of empty feeling. It was odd. I tried to watch “Suicide Squad” but I just couldn’t finish watching it. One because it was a terrible movie and two because I just couldn’t concentrate. I went to bed and slept like the dead. From the moment the attunement took place, my hands and feet have been hot and kind of buzzing. Rather than doing all yoga, I’ve been doing Reiki healing sessions on myself each night. I’ve slept deeply and dreamed. My body has been a bit off kilter but they say that after an attunement, your body tries to clear itself of toxins in the body (emotional and physical). I’ve had a headache since the attunement. I think i’m not drinking enough water. These side effects may go on for 21 days after the attunement. I’ve done some healing on my daughter. After the first healing she got a fever and felt terrible. I don’t know if this is the flu she caught from her brother or the reiki energy helping her body fight. For those that don’t know, my daughter has been suffering from a stomach illness for the past 6 months and the doctors are stumped as to what it is. She was one of the reasons I decided to try Reiki.
The neighbours dog let me pick it up the other day and stayed in my lap for a really long time. The neighbour was surprised as the dog doesn’t usually want to be in anyones lap and if the dog is in the lap, it’s never for very long. I blame reiki. They say animals love Reiki energy. Even as I’m typing this, my hands are hot and glowing. It’s an interesting sensation.
As for what I’ve been doing for the past almost 2 weeks, a mixture of Yoga Nidra, meditation and Reiki self healing. It’s been an interesting 2 weeks. If I survive this 3rd week, I’ll celebrate. Not sure how I’ll celebrate but I’ll figure it out. This week should also have long long work days, up to 9pm in some cases. Thank goodness for grandparents. I’m so grateful that they live so close and are happy to take the kids for a few days. For now, I’m just trying to get through things one day at a time and realising that perhaps, I’m stronger than I thought.
Sometimes I feel like I have moments of major clarity. Everything makes perfect sense and I’m at one with the universe. Other times, I stumble around with my coffee (mostly mornings) and I put my laundry in the oven by mistake. Sometimes, it feels like life is moving me forward. The universe is placing things in my path to discover. This is one of those times. I feel like I’m on the verge of an epiphany where the world will open up for me.
Will it actually happen? Good lord….who knows but the feeling is fantastic. Here’s why I think the universe is planning awesome stuff for me. I’ve met 2 people that I would call close friends. People I just click with. People I can sit and just be quiet with or be gross with. Do you have any idea how rare that is for me? I’ve been living in my current location for over 20 years. In those 20 years, I’ve met a total of 4 people like that. The first was nearly 20 years ago. The next one I met just 3 years ago but she moved to another city. Then I met these next two within the space of a couple of months. How weird is it to make connection like that?
The universe is pushing me to learn Reiki. I keep seeing articles, movies, hearing about it so I finally went to take lessons. Very cool. I’ll keep you posted on how that goes. The next lesson is on the 6th of June. I’ll get the reiki attunement. I’ve heard that the body reacts physically to the process and the side effects last a week or two. Can you imagine? Then I’m also hearing about projects and ideas coming my way. New projects where people want my expertise. It’s fantastic! Maybe my life is going to take an unexpected and awesome departure from the norm. I’m very excited about what the universe is bringing my way.
There’s been plenty of drama at work. People leaving (its a very good thing) and tons of work. The husband is in a long business trip far far away. That also brings it own challenges. The kids always seem to act up when daddy is away. I think they enjoy seeing how long it will take before the vein on my temple starts to throb. So, long story short, life is interesting, exciting and a bit stressful. I’ve been doing well though. Only had 1 half of a beta blocker last week so I consider that a win.
I’m almost at the 6 month mark in my challenge. It’s hard to believe I started this blog 5 months ago! At this point, I’m starting to have motivation issues. The goal was to do more yoga than just Nidra but when I’m stressed, it sometimes feels like I can’t deal with much more. Or, I’m so busy taking care of the family or building that I’m too tired to do some sweaty type yoga. I fall into bed and meditate and/or Nidra. I’m not sure how to motivate myself. Sure I’d like to have more flexible and stronger muscles but I just can’t seem to drag my butt to do it. Its usually 10pm when the kids are in bed and I use that time to catch up on dishes and then pass out. Excuses, excuses…I know. Perhaps I’ll get over my slump. I should do more Yin yoga. That would be SO good for me and I know it.
- Sunday: Yoga Nidra with Rishin. Nice change from Craig. I do get bored of listening to the same teacher each time.
- Monday: Drop into Stillness
- Tuesday: Yoga Nidra
- Wednesday:Yoga nidra
- Thursday: No yoga…fell asleep from exhaustion
- Friday: Yoga Nidra
- Saturday: Drop into stillness
In the immortal words of Dori the fish….”just keep swimming, just keep swimming”.
Ok…so I started the Reiki course today. I don’t know what I expected but it wasn’t what I expected. We spent 3 hours talking. We talked about all manner of things, not just Reiki. It was completely and utterly freeing. I feel like I let go of so many things. I got a confirmation of a lot of things…that I’m not the only one experiencing stuff. I actually teared up in the end. Tomorrow is the activation. I can hardly wait. I’m excited to see what comes out of it. If nothing else, the whole experience is sure to be cathartic. If I can learn to let some stuff go, it’s already a win win situation. The other people in the group are just lovely. We all ended up there for different reasons but wow. The teacher said that we give and pull a lot of energy. I am inclined to believe her. It was a very amazing experience.
One thing that really stayed with me was her description of energy. She talked about giving energy in Reiki. In Qigong, the person builds up lots of energy and then uses it to heal others for instance but in doing so, they release the energy, giving it all away. In Reiki, the energy is exchanged rather than just given. It was her metaphor that caught my attention. “Using energy is like breathing. You cannot just breathe out. You must also breathe in.” I really took that to heart. When we give too much in life…we are also just breathing out. At some point, we have to take a breath. Interesting stuff right?
The teacher said we’d probably have some crazy dreams tonight and that we should drink lots of water. I’ll keep you posted.
The weeks yoga:
- Sunday: Drop into Stillness
- Monday: Vinyasa Foundations
- Tuesday: Yoga Nidra
- Wednesday: Yoga Nidra
- Thursday: Yoga Nidra
- Friday: Yoga Nidra
- Saturday: Yoga Nidra
I feel like my brain is on temporary holiday. I have no tidbits of wisdom or deep thoughts today. I think I used them all during the Reiki class. I cannot wait to tell you how the rest of it goes! If I get another tool to help me balance out my body and deal with stress, it will be worth every penny.
It’s my last bass lesson tomorrow. I’m so sad. I learned so much from my teacher. He taught me how to do walking bass for jazz. Tonight I learned how to play the slap bass riff from the song “Higher Ground” (RHCP). I wouldn’t have been able to do that without the guidance of my teacher. I’m so stoked to have learned to so much and at the same time I’m so sad that I have to give up my most amazing bass teacher. If you ever want to take bass lessons in Jyväskylä, I can totally recommend Mr. Jere Lehto. He’s got an amazing band as well. If you like progressive music, you’ll love his stuff. Here’s a link:
They say that all good things must end. Thankfully there are plenty of beginnings as well! One things leads to another. One door closes and another opens right? I think it’s so important to learn. I have always believed in the phrase, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” That’s certainly been true for me.
Speaking of new beginnings, I’ll be starting Reiki classes in a couple of weeks. I don’t know how much I really think I’ll learn or be able to do but why the hell not? It’ll be fun to learn something new. Reiki, if you haven’t heard of it, is healing with the hands using an exchange of energy. I know, I know. Sounds terribly hokey doesn’t it? But what if it’s not and its totally amazing!!?? I gotta find out and I will in a couple of weeks. You can bet I’ll be blogging about it.
My stress levels have been all over the place this past week. My better half is off to India for 2 weeks and I’m here with the kids. We’re all feeling the pre-departure jitters and the kids are a bit off kilter. I’m sure we’ll get through it. I just hope my sanity survives. Extra rounds of Yoga anyone? So far, no need for pills this past week. I did take a Rose Root though. I still take that from time to time when I need it. I try to spare the prescription stuff as much as I can.
Last weeks practices were:
- Sunday: Drop into stillness
- Monday: Yoga Nidra
- Tuesday: Create space in the mind… and Morning Stretch
- Wednesday: Drop into stillness
- Thursday: Drop into stillness
- Friday: Yoga Nidra
- Saturday: Drop into stillness
I tried a few different things. I really like Drop into stillness. Peter Cherry has these wonderful meditation sessions that are extremely relaxing. I especially like them because I can choose the position I want to be in. I can either sit up or lie down. Check out his sessions if you haven’t already.
My advice this week…be open and be ready. Though something might be ending, that new wonderful thing is just around the corner. Each experience you have now is a getting you ready to do great things later on. Keep on keeping on.